Pro-cras-ti-nate

The war has begun, my friends.
Finals are just around the corner, with just one more months time to prepare. The war I'm talking about, though, is the one between my willpower and the little procrastination gremlins that live inside me. Frankly, the gremlins are winning. They have set up their empire long ago, and I think disturbing them with this coup of willpower insurgents might not work.

It was exactly the Tuesday before the last when I decided to stop my recent plunge in the "no studying" pool and to start prepping for finals. I made a schedule that was fairly easy to follow; 4 lectures per day will land me fully ready at May 7, leaving me with 18 days to revise once again and practice exam questions. Seems pretty simple, right?

Wrong.

I started Tuesday well, completing the 4 I had assigned. Wednesday however I only did one. Thursday I did none. Friday I did none too. Slowly I started going into the negative part of the scale and over a week later, I'm officially at -39. I'm useless. I will fix this, though. Seriously. Enshallah. Tomorrow.

I must point out that time is a major issue here. To me at least. Why is it that it runs out so quick when I need it to stretch the most? I just went back to Saudi today, and I got to my grannies house in the morning, before noon. I was in the living room chilling when I looked at the clock on the wall and said: "Okay Reem, you'll start studying at 12 o'clock. You have two hours to waste. Enjoy them.. " With a blink of an eye, it was 12, then 1, then 2. I decided to have lunch at 2 and to start exactly at 3. FAIL. I ended up starting at 7, in which I opened up the first page of my lecture, got drowsy, and opted for a 20 minute nap. Funny thing is that I'll look at the clock when it's (hour):06. Exactly. Each time. But each time, an hour would've passed. So so quick that I didn't even feel it. It's like the 6 hours that went today were in fact only 3 in my world.

Moving on to procrastination:

procrastinate |prəˈkrastəˌnāt; prō-|verb [ intrans. ]delay or postpone action; put off doing something : it won't be this price forlong, so don't procrastinate.procrastination -noun.

Procrastination is googling videos about procrastination and then watching them. Aah, procrastination. Pathological in me, it's a disease I tell you. A fatal one that I'm going to cure. Soon. slowly adapting to? (Haha, who am I kidding.. I think I'm far past adapting. I'm adapTED.)

To establish a more comfortable relationship between you and I, I'll take you through a day in my life. That way, you can understand me more thoroughly:

I have procrastinated sleeping to write this post even though I must wake up early in the morning to catch up on some studying and even though I have a migraine (but it seems like the Excedrin is working, 7amdella.) I am easily distracted by everything and anything. I mean, the first video up there isn't lying. That's how my head works. Seriously. Minus smoking a cigarette, and picking your nose. Sometimes I think I have the attention span of a goldfish. If only there were a way to procrastinate procrastination.

Is there?

Semi-rant..

Hello all,

3 and a half months went by SO quick I really didn't feel them pass!

Regarding this post, I have a little story to tell..

When I was a sophomore in high school, I'd pretty much decided that I wanted to study medicine. Hell, I've been wanting that since the 6th grade. As the days passed, and I was in my senior year, I was constantly asked by everyone what I wanted to major in. Being the only senior at that time in a science stream as opposed to my two other cousins in the literature stream, everyone wanted to know what I'm thinking of. So, being confronted with an enthusiastic 17 year old with the aim of med school would be, well, pleasant, right?

Well, people didn't think so.. And people would go OUT OF THEIR WAY just to convince me to choose another major. I've been told I'm stupid, old fashioned, and lifeless for making that decision. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but when was it ever a strangers call to judge what I wanted to do? When was it ever my call to judge what anyone wants to do? I'd never try to convince a person to let go of their aspirations or tell them they're stupid for choosing them :/ The only people who ever supported me were my parents + grandpa (LOVE YOU!), and a few other people I can count on my fingers.

The reasons these nay-sayers (tacky) would provide are:

• You can't do it.

My thoughts: You don't tell me what I can or can't do. That's up to me to decide.

• It takes too long.

My thoughts: Nothing that is worth having comes easy. I'm fully aware of the time scale for pursuing medicine, thank you very much.

• You're a stupid arse for turning down CPC, the opportunity of a lifetime that all girls would die (and drop all prior ambitions upon acceptance) for.

My thoughts: Umm, not really. I'm not that "mayta 3alaehum" as they say. Especially when being offered a major I didn't choose. Dear God, I can't imagine studying something I didn't sign up for in the first place just to be affiliated with a company of some sort, or "securing a job".. Don't I want to ENJOY my studying years AND future job? Excuse me, but if you think I'm letting everything go to work for you, you're wrong. I'm receiving the best education anyone could ever ask for and I actually LIKE the knowledge I'm learning! Besides, the more I think about it, the more I believe that studying abroad isn't all that (I'm not in a Saudi uni either so I'm happy enough (: ) If you wanna be a doctor, go for it. If you wanna be an architect, go for it. Don't abandon what you wanted just cuz you got a spot for a not so nice major (or one you didn't ask for but was put in). Because unfortunately, I know WAY too many people who did that and I sorta pity them :/

• You'll never get married.

My thoughts: You don't get to decide that, God does. Eli Allah katbah bi9eer. Even though you're studying business or whatever doesn't mean you'll get married either. Not that this is a huge issue to think about when you're 17.. So I was quite amazed when I got that.

• You'll never get a job.

My thoughts: Doctors will always have jobs (B2thn Allah). What if a huge pandemic attacks the earth and turns humans into cannibalistic zombies? Doctors must protect the rest of the population and save those who were bitten no longer than 72 hours ago. Haha, I'm kidding. But frankly, if I'm not destined to have a job, I'd be satisfied with the wealth of knowledge I gained. And there's always Doctors Without Borders, which I'd love to join from the first day I ever get to work!

• Choose something newer.

My thoughts: Like what? Jewelry designing? No comment.

With that, I conclude this brief post which seems to be more like a rant, but anyways..

Till next time! xx